A Forgotten Christmas Virtue

A well-known Christmas passage is found in the first chapter of Matthew’s Gospel.

Mat 1:23 "BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL," which translated means, "GOD WITH US."

I just watched an outstanding movie called “The Blind Side.” In the movie a Christian family takes in and raises a gigantic African-American teenager who has no stable family life of his own. His life is transformed by the love of his new “family.” It turns out the boy, Michael Oher, is a tremendous football player. Eventually he gets wooed by many of the major college football programs in the South.

In one scene, the scout from one program talks with Michael’s adoptive mother about taking her son to visit the campus. As a conscientious mother she lays down the guidelines for her son’s visit. “Two other schools took him to visit “titty clubs,” … you’re not going to do that. That confused Michael. Take him to a movie. Have him in bed by 10 o’clock.” I kept waiting for the usual Hollywood portrayal of the Christian family as narrow, bigoted, and living in a blind and irrational faith. But it didn’t happen. Instead the mother viewed sexual purity as a quality that her son should aspire to. The portrayal of the Christian love was genuine and life-changing for Michael. I guess that’s because it’s based on a true story, that’s the way reality is.

Back to our Christmas theme, the original Greek word for virgin was “parthenos.” It means a “maiden” or by implication an unmarried daughter. The Cambridge Dictionary defines the word as “someone who has never had sex.”[1] This is the understood meaning of the passage in Matthew. Mary was a young maiden who had never had sex. Not material for a Hollywood movie!

One important application of this fact is that Jesus, who is called “Immanuel,” (God with us) was born from a mother who had not had sex. Mary “was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.” [2] and not by a human father. This truth confirms Jesus as the Son of God.

It is interesting that the synonyms of the word “virgin” given by the same Cambridge dictionary run in two veins. The modern application of virgin is to think of it as “frigid”, “asexual”, and “sex-starved.” The second is what many consider the more outdated Victorian idea of “chaste” or “pure.” The latter is the intended meaning regarding Mary.

Today, many in our culture define a virgin in the first sense. “Do you mean you’re still a virgin? What is wrong with you?” Virginity has now become cause for shame. The modern idea of a virgin is a geek or someone so unattractive that no one would want to have sex with him/her. Sex before marriage provides bragging rights. It is not shameful. Virginity no longer has value.

The Bible teaches chastity before marriage. It is this positive purity that our modern society has been robbed of. In Mary’s time virginity was seen as socially acceptable, normal, and indeed required. Her pregnancy out of wedlock could only have been cause for reproach. This explains why Joseph nearly bailed out of the relationship.

Yet most parents wish that their child would remain a virgin until the right person comes along. And that too in spite of the fact that we parents haven’t, in most cases, followed our own advice. It’s often out of this pain that our very wish for their virginity springs. If virginity has no value, then why do many still wish it for their children?

Marriage is a life-long partnership of mutual sexual enjoyment and giving between one man and one woman. This is the Christian ideal and it is a badge of honor! Today that idea is derided. It is as G.K. Chesterton put it, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried.”

If you have lost your virginity before marriage, don’t despair, although something precious has been missed. Christ loves you. He is the one who forgives, cleanses, and restores our lives. In a relationship with Jesus Christ, we can begin anew. We can experience God’s best plan for our sexuality. There is hope! For “THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL," which translated means, "GOD WITH US."


[1] http://dictionary.cambridge.org/
[2] Matthew 1:18, New American Standard Bible